Eloquent Feelings

"When you kissed me the last time and we, or at least I, didn't know that it was the last time, I didn't kiss you enough. I thought I had a lifetime to do so, I took you for granted. Then, I used to think that it was my faith in our love that makes me believe in our forever, but, we all knew about the inevitability of ephemerals. I wish I would have, everytime, kissed you like it was the last time. That way, may be, it would have had hurt less when you left, may be I would not have had regrets of not loving you enough. Now, that we look at each other and feel nothing, I yearn for the part of me you took away with you, and, left behind a bottomless abyss of emptiness. To say, I felt empty, curling under my blanket, pressing my palm against my face and wailing in agony to not let any part of my reality escape the little world I had created under my blanket, far away from the real world. The real world didn't please me anymore, for there was no you in it. But, this emptin...

The question is not how do you go on with your past struck like a sword against heart The question is how long do you go on And, How far? How many more days months or years Are to be spent fighting own self in mirror? How many more deaths should be endured To finally live and prosper? How long did it take you to understand the difference between home and shelter? Did it also occur to you that past has always been better? Why is it that when you know there's no going back, Only then it hits you harder? Why are always we focused on getting rid of thorns That we miss out the blooming flower? When did the walls around us got so high And the defeaning silence louder? What do you do when you feel lost Like a lost shooting star? When you are both Shining and falling apart? They call it life to be always at war And, one needs to die a paradoxical death To get going n get tougher

I don't fake a smile I wash my face so that Nobody reads my eyes! If for one more time I feel the need to die, I will. For, I'm done trying. Why try to live, When death is the ultimate peace? With last ounce of hope I rose again To feel empty and lost A rainbow without rain! Everytime I try I fail. A lil, I die. When death is on me I'll be alive and happy They ask me to talk But, never listened Do you hear the ticking of clock? Because, now it's the end of this game!

Tonight I'm again sinking in myself, Seeing my life turn to ashes. My face wears a blanket of calmness, And soul depreciating with turbulence. Tonight, again my mind is getting louder, I feel like being ripped off my shelter. I'll walk the alley that leads to the end, Take a U-t urn, before the final descent. Tonight again I'll cry till my tears are dry, Like a lifeless heap of flesh n blood, I would lie. The pain of living in every breath I inhale, Giving up on life with every breath I exhale. Tonight I would again want to slit my vein, Perhaps hang myself or jump to ease the pain. I am letting the demons overpower me, Too weak to fight, I am succumbing. Tonight it's going to be dark and obsequious, But, I'll make it through, like I have been doing for years. Although I feel I like I shouldn't try anymore, Yet, I know that I am worth fighting for! Tonight again it's a battle in my head, Either way I lose, part of me will be dead. Not t...

Pushed away, torn apart Stamped and ripped in parts! Shall I burn the hell? Or get burnt? Because it all hurts and I don't want it to end. Losing my mind and my soul Wanting to walk away But keeping close. Is this how it was meant to be? Turn the time and I wouldn't start again But now that it already has, I can't walk away I can't walk away. When I asked you to come along I didn't ask for annihilation I didn't ask for annihilation If this is love Help me hate you But now even if I try I think I can't walk away Holding, hurting, crying Watching my heaven turn to hell Wanting to burn the bridge But all I keep doing is Walk the bridge. Burn it, break it, demolish it I don't wanna go back But I guess I'll build a new one No matter how much it hurts I think I can't walk away. No! Not anymore; I'm stuck in annihilation and I guess I'm loving the pain. So, I can't walk away.

Even if I stand here still At this very moment of time, I move. I move with you. A moment ahead in time. Even if I hold still And bring no change at all. I'll change. Change with you. When I look back in life Even if I fail But cease to give up I'll grow. Grow everyday with you. Someday, will taste success too! Even if I say I hate everything and everyone I'll love. Love with you As we all have little love within us. Even if days get harder And nights never seem to end I'll hope. Hope with you. For, there's light at the end of tunnel Even if you leave As people come, people go I'll live Live for myself That's why I was born, that's how I'll go

"Ssh! You'll be fine." I wrapped her in my arms trying to comfort her from something I could never understand. When I had set out on a path of conquest of life, I bumped into her and since that day I have known that she is like a quenching of my thirst of life. But life never comes easy. Behind her beautiful innocent appearance lies her demons. I tell her everyday that she will be fine; but, will she? Not a single person can look into her eyes and make out that there lies a galaxy of darkness inside her, thriving every night and embracing her. I see my girl standing on the edge of life and death, everyday. Every night. She has got the most beautiful and compassionate heart; she has also got cruelty and brutality, but for herself. The girl I love the most can't love me back with the same vigour and she's unaware of it. She thinks she loves me and even I had that notion but when I started knowing her, I knew she was able to love more but she just couldn't get r...

The kind of broken where there's No beginning Time is a battle and Defeat destiny! Swimming across an ocean So deep One more moment, I tell myself But no end to reach. Running away from people but Looking back too To find myself alone but Hoping not to. Scared and afraid of what lies In my head Illusionary demons thrive in mind and Paralyze my senses. Callous or sensitive? Or , Nothing at all Only tears can be trusted, smiles So foul . No! I shouldn't be alone With myself Because solitude can destruct little Peace that remains. I ain't fighting, and I am No survivor. Soon I will give up, but today I'll put an effort.

आलस और थकान से भरी आँखें, अब ज़रा सोना चाहती हैं लक्ष्य को पल भर भूलके, समय के साये में खोना चाहती हैं दिल और दिमाग की इस लड़ाई में, दोनों को मैं समझाऊंगा रस्ता टूटा या मुश्किल तो क्या, मंज़िल तो हर हाल में पाउँगा। जो अपने थे वो पराये हुए, पराये तो खैर पास  आते कब थे लक्ष्य जिन्होंने यहाँ पाया है, वो लघु मार्ग पर जाते कब थे घर छूटा, घर वाले छूटे, मैं राही खुद अपनी राह  बनाऊंगा रस्ता टूटा या मुश्किल तो क्या, मंज़िल तो हर हाल में पाउँगा। प्रतिदिन क्षितिज से ढलता सूरज, फिर अपनी  जगह पे आता है प्रकृति अविरल...